Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
