It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
