i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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