You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
