I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
