My hand turned me down
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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