8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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