well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
