you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
