I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
