wanna go halves on a baby?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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