you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
