Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
