If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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