Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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