we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this boner is exhausting
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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