just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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