we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
