I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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