I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
