dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
