What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
