Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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