you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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