Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
