idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
