just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
