im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize