Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
