be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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