i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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