I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
