Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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