I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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