I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
