my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
