Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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