I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
