The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
