There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
