So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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