So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
