Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
