Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
