ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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