One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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