You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
