i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
