So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
