Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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